1. Why does a golfer always bring two pairs of pants ?
: In case he got a hole in one.
2. Who earns a living by driving his customer away ?
: A taxi driver
3. Why does Count Dracula take cough medicine ?
: To stop his coffin.
4. What never ask question but get pressed for the answer ?
: The doorbell.
5.Why did the moron throw the butter out of the window?
He wanted to see a butterfly.
6. Q : What is the thinnest book in the world ?
A : What men know about women ?
7. Q : What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
A : At least E.T. phoned home.
8. Q : How are men like public toilet ?
A : They 're either Taken, Full of shit or Out of order.
9. Which one?
You are in a house. There are 3 light switches. Inside of a closed room (that you CAN NOT see) there is a light bulb that is turned on by one of the switches. If you can only go inside the room one time how can you tell which switch turns on the light?
10.
A rich man has two sons. When he dies, the sons read his will. The will says the sons must race their horses to a distant city and the LAST one's horse to get there gets the fortune. So the sons start racing as slow as possible to get the fortune. At nightfall they stop at an inn. They tell their problem to the innkeeper and in the morning the sons are racing as fast as they can to the city. What did the innkeeper tell them to do?
11. Do you know what it is?
What's greater than God, more evil than the Devil, poor people have it, rich people don't need it, and if you eat too much of it you will die. What is it?
12.
Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
13.
Q: What time is it when 3 bears are chasing you?
A: 3 after 1
14.
Q: Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ?
A: Any kind! A house can't jump!
15
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
A: Out of the way
16.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
17. Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet?
18. What's the only thing worse than finding a worm in your apple?
19. Why can't a blonde dial 911?
20. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
21. Why does Dracula have no friends?
22. What has six legs and flies?
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